I am defeated !

I am defeated ; O lord Defeated,
and its such a joy ;
to find yourself to be nobody,
defeated ,so utterly vanquished,
conqured by everything else,
the self gave up,
quiting everthing ,
In the land of Conquistadors
I am a great quitter .
I lost the great game of self,
I lost the great shame of self,
now there is only taste of nothingness,
The great song of silence,
No winning anymore,
I am forever defeated,
the thousand insects,
greater than me,
I am the lowest of the low,
less important than dried leaves,
than blades of grass,
than evaporating dew,
than dust by the roadside,

desire to win took me,
in her warm fiery embrace,
and tossed me like a poor lamb,
into the slaughter house,
that i created birth after birth,
with the great defeat,
i lost that desire too,
now who slaughters what?
can you ever slaughter the dust?
Nobody does,nobody can,
No more a lion nor a lamb.
totally useless to every efficiency,
i sit by the shade,defeated.
no ambitions,
no places to go
but to remain there,
where I always was ,
winning took me away,
from my original defeat,
being lost brought me back,
I am defeated ,defeated,
O lord ,now only joy enjoys the joy.

what I have become?(song)

What I have become ?
was never something ,
That I would have known.
What song I have sung?
was never something ,
That I could have undone.

Now It is gone,
Ohh It is Gone,
So far far away,
I hear It is Gone.

What I have seen?
was nothing that,
could ever else been.
What I have loved?
was nothing something,
I could have controlled.


Now It is gone,
Ohh It is Gone,
So far far away,
I hear It is Gone.

Her voice is so low,
I caaant even
recognize her anymore,
Only the shade of her eyes,
is all that I can
recall tonight.

Now It is gone,
Ohh It is Gone,
So far far away,
I hear It is Gone.